So, Guy Somberg, a programmer for Flagship Studios working on Hellgate: London posted a now-removed blog entry last month about the game’s epic fail. Its failure to keep its staff, that is. He completely overlooked what a terrible conglomeration of shitty code the darn thing is.

Please, cry more about the community who assaulted your team with their ridiculous demands.

Demands for a playable game.

Completely ignore the possibility that if the game didn’t have such a surprising amount of problems, the playerbase would actually be spreading some positive word-of-mouth about it.

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Are you bored with your job? Perhaps you’re tired of taking orders from someone you hate? Or maybe you don’t even have a job at all? Regardless of your situation, if you want work, I have great news, dear reader! Our inbox has recently been inundated with requests for people to fill some out of the ordinary job positions.

You’d just better act quickly before they’re gone!

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Video games, aside from being my passion and the best way I can think of to spend my free time, are always packed with items, superpowers, plot devices, and vehicles that I wish I had.

I realize that they’re fictional stories, just like we find in books or movies. It’s so different, though. When I’m reading or vegging out to the television on the couch, I’m actively detached. I’m a spectator. When I’m gaming, however, I’m actively involved. When I play Portal, I’m actually creating portals with a special gun to get myself out of sticky situations–even if it’s just with my mouse.

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I’ve said, quite a few times actually, that it’s not the characters themselves that make for compelling stories, but character relationships. This month’s Round Table asks you to explore a relationship within a game that you found compelling or memorable.

Characters. We love ‘em, or we hate ‘em. Final Fantasy 8 was forever ruined for me, thanks to Squall’s petty and pointless teenage bad mood. Some people feel the same about Cloud. Some people love Princess Peach, adore her in fact. Others despise her.

What defines a character is the way they relate to those around them. For me, a huge part of the attraction in playing through a game is to witness the redemption and change of a character. Heroes tend not to be redeemed. Even if they give up, become dispirited, we all know that they will return to save the day. But a character like Linebeck, he begins the game by taking people for what he can get. He finishes by taking up a sword and trying to face down Bellum. Okay, he fails to do much damage. But he tries.

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Many of us have dreams of the silver screen. And according to Uwe Boll, Simon West, and Corey Yuen, our favorite video game characters do, too.

Unfortunately most of the currently available video game-to-film adaptations have been worth neither our time nor our money.

Maybe it’s because Cloud, Lara, Rayne, or Ayane, for example, were just simply too green in the performing world. As far as I know, Cloud came too early in the Final Fantasy franchise to have experienced acting lessons through the Tantalus Troupe, and Croft certainly fails to strike me as the type to truly enjoy “faking it”.

But I digress…

I wouldn’t be particularly miffed if the fascination with this genre died out completely.

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It seemed like such a nice town. A gorgeous lake, an amusement park, a four star hotel. All the perks of a great vacation spot. It also had the added benefit of some good old fashioned small town businesses, a top hospital, and a great school system. Who wouldn’t want to visit?

Until the fog rolls in, anyway. At that point you best grab the nearest broken radio, a lead pipe, and a flashlight. Trust me, you’re going to need all of them. And while you wander blindly through the inky darkness, you’d best take note of that low, pulse-like throbbing coming from somewhere beneath you. It’s almost as if this town is alive. Clutch that radio tightly; it’s your only warning. Stumbling through the abandoned streets, you spot a wall splattered with what could be blood. Smeared through the plasma is an ominous message: “Welcome to Silent Hill.”

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