Top Ten Most Annoying Online GamersOctober 24th, 2008 by Brittany
Del.icio.us | Digg | Technorati | Reddit | Stumble Upon
We’ve all been there. We’ve all sat in the lobby listening to some wannabe rapper spouting lines about popping caps in people’s (fill in the blank), or that kid who isn’t even old enough to be in the game to start with. And some of us have even endured hounding from members of the opposite sex hoping to get some pictures or voice chat for their trouble.
Some of them aren’t even interested in getting much gaming done at all. They just want to complain or mess things up for others.
If you haven’t seen them, now you will. They’ve been conveniently collected in one place. For your entertainment: the top ten most annoying online gamers.
We hear you. We hear how you poorly imitate rappers who “sing” using broken English to begin with. Listening to you is not an honor. No, creating rhymes based on players’ handles that you see is not funny. It only takes a miniscule amount of brainpower to do that. Yes, you and your parents may find it adorable and entertaining that you can make childish rhymes incorporating things in your direct vicinity, but when it comes to pwning online, your “rapping” skills are null and void. Please put that mouth to good use, if you know what I mean.
2. The Child
Does your mother even know you’re playing Gears of War? She does? Oh, AND you had sexual intercourse with my mom. That’s sweet of you. It’s really cool that you can kill off every single person on the team–your own. It’s really cool that your best friend told you that they hated you today, and that you want to invite all of your troglodytic friends along to the party so you can show them this SUPER NEAT!! trick you learned the other day. Oh, is that your mother telling you to get off the game and come eat dinner? Sucks to be you, kid. Please, just leave the world of gaming for big people and go play some age-appropriate titles. God knows gamers will appreciate it when you go missing and angry parents try to blame it all on Imagine: Babies.
3. 1337 Hax0rz
Yeah, it’s awesome that you’ve figured out a way to use every glitch in the game to your advantage. Modded controllers really make you so much better, too. So respectable. How I wish I could be like you! I especially love running down bomb carries in CoD4’s Sabotage/Search when you glitch it over the wall and out of the map. That just proves how truly amazing you are at a game by breaking the rules. If you were on a football team, you would be the guys busted for steroids. You keep finding new ways to cheat honest players out of rewards, and we’ll keep finding new ways to humiliate you.
4. The DJ
The Xbox Live headsets don’t register much noise outside of your voice. And if you’re using Vent, why do you need blasting music in the background? If we wanted to hear Soulja Boy’s unintelligible garbage of a song, why, I think we would have added it to our own libraries by now. A garbled rendition of a Top 40 hit is nowhere near as fun as listening to it in the comfort of your own headphones. No one wants to hear your music. Instead of gaming, why don’t you go DJ some raves or something? Hone your talent where it might be appreciated. And stop leaning so close to your speakers. It takes a lot of effort to get music blasting that loud. Why aren’t you deaf yet?
5. The ZOMGIT’SAGURL Fanboys
You really haven’t had any (human) female contact, have you?
6. The Racist
Oooh, it’s so tough of you to express your displeasure with another race. It really makes me want to drop my controller and run away because you insulted the way I talk, speak, or look because of my race. No. It makes you sound ignorant. It’s a pity being racist doesn’t up your dosage of gaming skill, because you’re usually in dire need of it. Really cute. Didn’t you recognize the trend of randomly yelling “WHITE POWER!” ended when no one responded and you ended up ignored the rest of the game? Please, get a life.
7. The Camper
Yeah, hang out there in that dark corner where no one sees you. Fidget around until you see a target coming, then pop them in the head when they least expect it. While you may be racking up the points and improving your K/D ratio, you’re also looking quite lacking in the contact kills department. If you’re going to trash talk about being the best at a certain game, learn to play it the way everyone else is first. Then you can have your cutesy hide and seek games.
8. The Gametype Idiot
Do you not understand how to play the game, or are you just being stupid on purpose? If you want to get kills, don’t start up a CTF game. If your only concern is upping your headshot count, go do it in a FFA or TD. Why do you think it’s even feasible to want to deliberately delay planting the bomb in order to up your score? If you want to do it so badly, play a gametype where killing is the only objective. Don’t try to pretend your brain can handle much more than that. It’s okay, we’ll understand.
9. The Slut
No, we don’t want to see your n00dz. Exhibit some genuine interest in the game or you’ll be kicked.
10. The Screamer
YES! IT WAS POSSIBLE TO HIT YOU FROM THAT DISTANCE! NO, THEY WERE NOT CHEATING! YES, IT IS TOO BAD! NO, IT WASN’T A CHEAP SHOT! WHY DON’T YOU CALM DOWN BEFORE YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK? IT’S JUST A GAME!! DID YOU HEAR ME?! IT’S JUST A GAME!
October 24th, 2008 at 11:17 am
See, this is why some of us don’t play a ton of games online. =P
October 24th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Hmm, I agree. Money problems aside, depending on the group sometimes getting a raid group is not even worth it when these people constantly ruin your good time.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
ahahaha…. great list.
October 24th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Lmao amazzzzzzzzzing list.. It’s so true.. and OMFG CAMPER FTL!!
October 25th, 2008 at 11:22 am
We’re jealous we didn’t think of this idea first. Great work.
October 25th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Great list, it almost sounds the Tarot cards of gaming - especially with “The Child”. This is an epic list indeed.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
One online match in Halo 3, my very FIRST match online in Halo 3 and I meet every single one of these morons … except The Slut. Which is retrospect is a good thing or else I may have gone deaf that day.
Great read!
October 25th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
ROFL, i remember once we were doing leotheras the blind in ssc and we invited 1 hunter, someone spammed the vent info and when this player talked was a girl, and i remember someone in the raid said: its a …. g i r l
that was so funny
i think u missed a couple more
the guy that is at work or needs to sleeps early for work
and the angry man
but i really had fun reading this
take care!
October 27th, 2008 at 6:52 am
ZOMG’ITSAGURL.
ZOMG Brittany R U A GURL?!!?!?!!
I love it when you don’t answer them, and they say to their friend, “Well they’re either a girl, or they’re gay with a gamertag like that.”
MUHAHA. and I
October 27th, 2008 at 6:53 am
*** and I lovvvvve the Rappers! I love them so much, I would gladly pay for their funerals. .. IF THEY WOULD JUST DIE!!!!! *******
October 27th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Yeah, The Slut, yeah…um…that hits close because my (former) friend did that to get T4 on her Blood Elf Paladin. It was very annoying as she got geared faster than me, yet I was the one who knew how to play my class.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:41 am
I will agree with this list and I have seen people like this on both X-box live and World of Warcraft. I really hate the DJ and the 1337 type the most of all of them. I remenber playing Halo 3 one night and on one of my matchs this guy was play music really load in his headset. I hated that match so much.
Estellas Paladin Moon Guard server, us
Shadowknight20, X-box live
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:09 am
I’ll tell you what I hate.
I have no hatred for girl gamers, but I can’t stand the ones who tell u that they’re a girl and then expect u to be “nicer” to them or “not to bully them”
happens in DOTA 80% of the time when a girl plays.
November 6th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’ve definitely seen my share of these people in WoW. Although the Battle-ground Blamers should be added to the list. You know, the people who are always pointing fingers at someone else for not holding their weight when they spend more time talking or typing themselves rather than actually playing?
Yeah, drives me absolutely bonkers.
I believe the quote “Die in a fire” works on all of these.
November 7th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Oh, how I agree about the sluts.
They sit their on XBox live, and point out the fact that they are a girl. Their always like “OMGZ I Lyk Haloz, and those other games. I’m a total gamer chick. Ya huh.”
They give real girl gamers a bad name.
November 14th, 2008 at 7:43 am
yeah the yellers are annoying. seroisly is there a reason to yell? are you that pathetic you need to yell because it was unexpected because you have no skill or are you just deaf?!?!?!
November 19th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I hope that the “rapper” discussion was not a generalizing statement… Personally, I love rap and many other kinds of music. Rap has its heart of love and good meaning at times, just like other lyric involved genres. But I’m pretty sure your point is aimed at the posers that haven’t reached the serious reality.
The slut is a huge caboose slammer. One jumps onto a forum (especially a relatively small community mmo), posts a boob-show avatar then corrupts the [5. The ZOMGIT’SAGURL Fanboys] majority, causing a re-dramatization of the 10 plagues but worse. GG internet.
Hey, everywhere you go, everywhere you game … There will be the mimic of retardation.
December 31st, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Re: Camper
My own personal caveat involves unfairly attacking campers. No, I’m not necessarily referring to the ones defined here; I’m talking about the “strategic campers.” I’ve been attacked far too many times for hiding in the grass with a sniper…when camping is almost the core tactic when using that rifle.
Am I camping? Yes. But yaknow, that’s what the zoom-function is for on those rifles. Stop pissing and moaning about getting killed from across the map– and start using the cover that’s provided in the game.
Along those same lines; using legitimate strategies provided by the game seems to provoke outrage among players. In COD4, try not to teabag corpses– and you won’t get yourself killed by Martyrdom!
January 18th, 2009 at 5:21 am
I read through this article briefly and would just like to say not ALL Children are immature. I for one am 13 and regularly play games online and do not claim to have had sexual intercourse with youre mother. However my mother DOES know i’m playing Gears online.
February 9th, 2009 at 2:16 am
Absolutely hilarious, Spot on and so funny. Well done.
September 20th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
LOL love this! My daughters play video games like World of Warcraft and all of those…wii/xbox/ps3 kind of games. I am slowly getting into it myself, its kind of hard at 49 but I definitely understand where you come from with all of this! They laughed when I read this blog out loud for them to hear and both of them said “Yep been there done that!” I don’t think I could be as patient as most with more than HALF of that list, but that’s just me. Keep up the good work, and let me know if you get to the TOP 20. LOL